Clean?

It’s dirty,

         I’ll wash it.

Some soap, some water

It’s not clean enough!

        It’s like I’m spreading dirty

Swirling it really

      I’ll wash it again.

Maybe more water

I know it’s old,

        It has character.

It’s still not clean.

No amount of lotion

          will save these hands.

They’ll crack, I know.

But there are too many

         Other people bring the dirt.

Is it futile because

      It’s old?

          It’s used?

I’ll wash it again.

No relief.

No relief.

             What will they think?

It’s still dirty!

More anxiety.

          Tears?

Just more water

          Maybe it will be clean.

I feel dirty, too.

          I let it be filthy,

             The others don’t matter.

If it were mine alone

ALONE

It wouldn’t be dirty.

         Please, no more

It is dirty,

           I’ll wash it.

My hands itch.

It’s dirty.

It’s dirty.

No relief!

Another night gone.